Tour de Cupcake is back! 10/9 1PM

After three years of San Francisco begging us to do so, the Bike Kitchen is bringing back the Tour de Cupcake.

What is the TDC?

It’s simple, really: You race a bike through the city in a scavenger hunt style race where you pick your own route. You perform tasks and solve puzzles along the way for points. You get time deductions for eating gourmet cupcakes along the way.

The first one was held in 2008 hoping that 75 people would come and we were overwhelmed when 400 showed up. We planned huge for this year and are capping the race at 300 with online pre-registration only.

Check out the interim webpage here for info and to register: http://www.ilsgoldbarg.com/tdc2011.html

and

http://www.tourdecupcake2011.eventbrite.com

Please spread the word!!!!!

So clever. LOVE.

So clever. LOVE.

10 different kinds of wrong.

I’ve been wanting to do a blog for a while now called 10 Different Kinds of Wrong. I think this recent text convo I had might be the perfect post to kick it off.

Me: I helped a friend write a punch line the other day: “It’s too soon to make jokes about the tsunami, but it’s definitely not too soon to place your bets on the Japanese Olympic swim team.”

Poz: The Chinese must be so jealous.

Me: Doesn’t matter how many babies they throw in the river. Their swimming skills can never compete now.

Poz: What about flipper babies? Waste not. Want not.

Me: Oooh. Then they could also stop shark finning. Two birds, one stone!

Poz: We just solved every problem in Asia. I want a medal.

Me: I want a Chinese flipper baby of my own to keep in the fishbowl in our kitchen.

Poz: That is cruel!

Me: To my roommates, yes.

Poz: You need at least two or they get lonely.

White people problem of the day

Me: Your jeans are hellof busted girl.

Friend: Ugh, I know. I need new ones. I’ll have to go to New York soon I guess.

!!!

Haiku of the day

My kale tastes shitty

Forgot to wash it off. Damn.

Dirty kale be gross.

knucklesandwiches:

Tracy at the Grammys

 My friend Micah makes awesome ink drawings of awkward famous people.

knucklesandwiches:

Tracy at the Grammys

 My friend Micah makes awesome ink drawings of awkward famous people.

OMG, a ghost!!!! Wait, is that just a dude masturbating?

Thanks to my neighbor, Jordan, for sending this along yesterday. I can’t believe I almost forgot to post this.

From an article in Bay City News, 3/22:

"Teens who thought they heard a ghost in their home in San Francisco’s Presidio Heights neighborhood on Saturday night instead found a man masturbating in a bedroom, a police spokesman said today.

"Two girls, ages 14 and 17, and a 17-year-old boy were at home in the 3400 block of Pacific Avenue near Laurel Street at about 9:35 p.m. Saturday when they heard a noise in an adjacent room, police Lt. Troy Dangerfield said.

The teens thought it was a ghost, but when they went to the bedroom on the third floor of the home, the boy noticed that the door to the room was closed, although he had remembered leaving it open, Dangerfield said.

The teens opened the door and found the man standing naked inside the room and masturbating. He looked at them and groaned, causing them to flee and call 911 from a neighbor’s house, Dangerfield said.

Officers responded and found the man, identified as Tyrell Brown, 28, inside a closet.

Brown was arrested on suspicion of lewd conduct, burglary, and possession of marijuana, according to Dangerfield.

Investigators found signs of forced entry into the home, which sits right outside the southern edge of the Presidio.”

Dan McMenamin, Bay City News

I got a Facebook message from my uncle yesterday. It reads, “was thinking of you, uncle michael” and was accompanied by this photo. 
This is why I love my family.

I got a Facebook message from my uncle yesterday. It reads, “was thinking of you, uncle michael” and was accompanied by this photo. 

This is why I love my family.

I’m very excited to be telling some jokes at this Friday’s 8pm Jabari Davis and Associates show at the historic Purple Onion!!! The show has officially SOLD OUT (I just braided in a new-agey hair wrap for the occasion).
If you happen to be one of the few suckers in this town who didn’t get tickets ahead of time, make sure to check out the 10pm show! Different lineup, same great taste.
Get tickets here before they sell the heck out! https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/148427

I’m very excited to be telling some jokes at this Friday’s 8pm Jabari Davis and Associates show at the historic Purple Onion!!! The show has officially SOLD OUT (I just braided in a new-agey hair wrap for the occasion).

If you happen to be one of the few suckers in this town who didn’t get tickets ahead of time, make sure to check out the 10pm show! Different lineup, same great taste.

Get tickets here before they sell the heck out! https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/148427

Circumcision is no joke.
Ils: I think I'm finally getting comfortable moving away from dick jokes. I just wrote a new Jew joke.
Co-worker: What, no transitional circumcision joke?